Core Need: Certainty

I was 19 years old.

I felt so much pressure to know what I wanted to do with my life.

I was told I had to go to school, get a degree, get a job, and make a living.

But I had no idea how to do that and the anxiety it caused was very consuming.

Then a classmate gave me mono and I got very, very sick.

I lost a lot of weight.

I was very weak.

As a result, I hurt my foot and wasn’t able to dance anymore.

Dancing was my one outlet and it was taken from me.

My entire life felt out of control.

This was a problem for me because MY main core need is

💥Certainty 💥

So, what did I do?

I found the one thing that I knew I could control to provide myself with a feeling of certainty…my body and my weight.

I drastically reduced the quantity of food that I ate.

I stopped eating carbs.

I didn’t go out to dinner with friends or family members.

I weighed myself multiple times a day.

I played a games to see how long I could go without eating.

These habits took a big toll on my physical and mental health, but I had such tunnel vision that I didn’t see it.

Deep down, all I knew was that I was able to find a shred of certainty in my life, and as long as that need was being met SOMEWHERE, then all was not lost.

This is how powerful our core needs can be.

They can be working against us and we don’t even realize it.

So, how did I get myself out of that hole?

I discovered Powerlifting.

It made me feel empowered.

Quickly, the desire to be strong overtook my desire to be thin.

But more than that, I knew that I could control it!

The desire for certainty was still there, but it was being channeled in a different way.

I KNEW that if I:

👉 ate more food

👉 incorporated more protein and vegetables into my diet

👉 slept more

👉 drank more water

👉 prioritized rest and recovery

I’d get stronger ➡️ certainty.

My core need didn’t change, the vehicle through which I chose to fulfill it changed.

If you’re trying to lose weight but find yourself repeatedly “self-sabotaging...”

You might be fulfilling a core need that you didn’t know was there in a way that’s working against you.

The trick is to make it work FOR you.

Then, the rest will come much easier.